New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
