Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
