is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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