She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
