So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
