It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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