We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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