When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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