I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
