Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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