The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
