that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
