He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
