these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
