i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
