P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
