I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
