hotel room ftw
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
