i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
