I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
