It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
