Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Houston, we have a blender
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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