never play flip cup with pint glasses
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
