try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
