I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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