Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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