4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
