I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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