So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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