wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
