i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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