Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
