Cold hands, warm shart.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
