i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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