We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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