i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
