im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
that is very illegal...i love you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
