What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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