Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
