Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
