You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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