She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
