My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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