I think i peed on brittanys purse
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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