I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
