i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
