I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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