yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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