I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
