I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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