She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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